From kindergarten to school: changes for the whole family
“The start of school is a completely new life situation for small seven-year-olds. However, the parents also have a great change in life, which is often less premature than children, is recognised by the psychologist of children, the Montesori pedagogy specialist, Inga Adamson. The new situation involves changes in social roles, identity, relationships and circumstances, and not only the child but the entire family. The parents, worrying about their child, experience a very powerful emotion that places both joy and pride and a feeling of sadness and loss, like when children leave home. Parents realize that the“ serious life ”of a child starts with the school.
Psychologist Inga Adamson's recommendations to parents:
• It is recommended that the entire school should be purchased in time to be familiar with the way to school so that the first meeting with the teacher has taken place, looking at the classroom (but not in all schools) etc. so that the child knows who is expecting her. Familiarisation with the new conditions before the school starts is an important part of the preparation of the important child.
• at least the first two to three months of the child's adjustment period - to schedule extra time to spend with the child in dealing with school-related issues. In no case should it be possible for everything to happen in self-flow, as it is possible to miss an important nuance that can further deprive the child of the pleasure of learning, the problems of contact, etc. The whole family is subject to daily and weekly restructuring and is already a healthy strategy. Alternatively, the child has to be in two social systems - at home and at school, this requires a review of the daily rhythm and also the division of labour between parents. The family's atmosphere becomes stricter, more determined - more often than wishes determine what is going to be done. Regularity and accuracy become more important. Children from school can be tired, so it is important to organize a targeted rest.
• Do not go into extremes, i.e. do not do everything in the child's place and do not deny him the help, saying that he is now big enough to do everything himself. Parents must not turn into hills or strict controllers, but children need to feel their support. The most purple way to support a child, if he needs help, is to do together, for example, in the presence of parents, the bag is kept by the child himself, not to sit and do not show the finger that the child must learn - he must know what the homework is to be done, but if the help is needed it is important that the parents are present.
• A healthy topic is the performance of home works. House works show the influence of the school on the family. Most often, Momma is involved in the performance of home works - organizes, monitors and helps, often the performance of home works turns into a controversial reason that should be avoided. It is important not to confuse schools and family functions. Usually home works are adequate for children's abilities, so it is important for the child to feel attitudes - the ability of the eu to deal with its own tasks. Criticism and perfectionism are the greatest evil. Often, parents have more demands than a teacher. It shows her parents' expectations and the desire to be proud of the child and his success. Home works open a field where parents are demonstrating both concern and criticism. When compared to kindergarten, the child has a new experience. It demonstrates a direct hierarchy from the parents' side - the child is exposed to parents, while the child is fighting for his independence, so the relationship between the child and the parents changes. Children want to play out of the house alone, go to school alone, choose their clothes, and they protest their parents' overcare and control. It is not easy for parents to accept it.
• Do not change any previous daily rituals, such as if you have read the book in the evenings so far, only because the time is 1 September, you don't need to stop it, especially if the child wants it. If you stick to your routine, the child will not feel that the whole world has turned into the air.
• talk to a child. It is very important for children that they are consulted, listened to them, their concern and fear, and it is important to take the child seriously and do not laugh at their feelings. The most common question her parents are asking is, how did you go to school? The most frequent child response is - normal. But it should be taken into account that the child may not understand what should be said, so it would be better to ask not general, but more specific questions, such as: did you and a member of the class become friendly? What did you do best? etc. If a child answers very strangely, it may be worth talking to a teacher in order to listen to her opinion on how a child feels at school. This does not mean that the child should always be questioned very much, but it is important to pay attention to what and how the child is about the story in the school. As the school really makes a lot of new experience, it is important to listen to the child and help understand what is happening.
• If your parents know that the child is emotionally sensitive, it is appropriate to bring a child to school or, for example, a family photo to be placed in the journal etc.
• Remember that the preparation of writing, counting, reading, working with materials, etc. has been very good in both the children's garden and home, but less attention is given to social, interfaces and self-control skills and also take account of the differences in development - the girls usually learn these skills faster, boys need a little longer. Also, the ability to address the problems in the girls is faster, all of which must be taken into account. Although boys and girls are happy about going to school, it is easier for girls to do so because they are the peculiarities of development.
• if there are any special events in the family, such as the birth of a brother or sister, the sudden illness of a family member, the change of parental jobs, or the return to profit abroad, the death of a family member, the parents' divorce, this complicates the situation for both children and parents, but parents such as adults should be able to deal with it and pay special attention to the first grade. Children in the first year are also very emotionally responding to a change of teacher or a disease during which he is replaced by other teachers, to an hour change. But children must also learn how to deal with new challenges and situations without parental intervention, but the parents must be involved in solving serious situations. Perhaps it is worth considering whether to consult a psychologist.
• note that children are different - one is safe and confident, others feel unsafe, even feeling fear of the unknown situation. Therefore, in no case should children be compared to other children.
• Remember that the main task of the school is training. There will be a lot of other children in the school, a very much new impression. They change their tasks and responsibilities - what they could do earlier or do not do, they are now to do so. Euphoria will disappear quickly, but to keep a healthy desire to learn and feel comfortable at school, the process must be monitored. Children should learn to learn, create their own learning and leisure rhythm and mode.
• note that the relationship of the school child with sisters and brothers, if any, may be demonstrated, and the younger brother or sisters can no longer be treated as before, so there may be conflicts. The child can also envy the smaller ones because they still have a free regime.
• If you make a small effort in the first phase of the school, you will provide a good basis for all the years of the school that can give a child a lot of nice and unforgettable events. It is good if the child feels that his parents believe in his abilities, his willingness to get into school and get used to it, to feel good at school. It is good if the parents themselves are happy to mention the school as a “good place” and a teacher as a reliable guide and assistant.